


A Boy and A Fox

by blueqyuubi



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, M/M, Shape Shifting Minhyun; Depressed Minhyun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-08-01
Packaged: 2019-06-18 16:53:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15490422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueqyuubi/pseuds/blueqyuubi
Summary: A burn out Minhyun wants nothing to do with his live anymore and makes a life changing decision where he met a boy who brought him back.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story very quickly. Without doing any proof read. So I'm sorry for bad plots, bad grammars, and bad everything. Just want to make this tag alive... for a bit.
> 
> This is not my original story. I made this from the remake of the story I read in here:  
> http://www.juked.com/2013/12/rumaan-alam-even-the-fox.asp  
> And the quality of my writing can't give it a justice. The story reminds me of MinHwan, so here it is!

Minhyun had just enough of his life. It meant nothing more to him, his life what he used to be. The overpressure of his career, the mask that keeps on getting heavy to wear, tge bills that are waiting for him to be paid, for the things that he knows he never actually need. The things that only been burden and form the image of him that everyone want to see, the man that he loves that broke his heart into pieces, after all the lies he said had been discovered. So one day he decided to leave all of if.

It was strange, of how many infos you could found on the internet. Most of the information are only lies and tales. But he decided to try it anyway. There was nothing that he feels can hold him back. There was nothing that he could feel here.

Not long after he follows all of the instructions meticulously-- he was famous among his colleagues as someone who is perfectionist. Someone who is very petty to find any small mistakes. He knows. He heard their hushed talking when they tought he wasn't there. He knows every little detail of the curse they thrown at him. And he thought words will never make him bleed. But it did. When a though rock can be broken with drops of waters, then what would be his heart? And it bleed even harder when he said it. The man he thought loved him, said it.--

He feels his bones, his skin, his organs are sunken. The hair in his body grows more and more and becomes longer. He could feel his ear becomes longer and a tail grow from his behind. He doesn't know how long the process went. When he was waking up, he was blanketed by his old clothes, too big for him to wear.

Following his instinct, he runs away from his house without knowing or paying any attention of where he runst to. Just run and run, passing his landlady who screamed like she is witnessing a murder when all she sees is just a middle-sized orange fox. Minhyun could faintly heard 'Pest! That Hwang must be bringing it to murder me!'. He feels relief coursing his body. Finally, he could leave that toxic place he used to call a house. He then continues to run, passing the dark street of dawn, when he could hear faint voices of people starting a new day, some of them are even already bustling about, but no one pay any attention to a fox who running fast and not wanting to be discovered.

He doesn't know how long and how far he runs, he runs until he feels like he can't take another breath again. And he is far from weak, he spent many of his time working out, he never wanted himself to become less than flawless.

Why? Why had he been reying so hard? Putting himself to the limit? Stressing, stifling himself and people around him. Minhyun never realized when the smile in his favorite face, the face that is adorned with constellation of stars becomes a frown.

In his fox minds all of the things from his old life becomes hazy. All of it becomes unimportant. Like a distant dream. All he wants to do now is just to catch a breath.

And then, he hears voices from around him, a song, seemingly from a distant place. Even with his fox hearing he could not pinpoint where the song comes from. As he throws his gaze above him, he sees uncountable stars forms like a river, twinkling. Then it downs to him, it must be them, that is singing.

When he is a man he never bothers to spend his time observing the stars. Or is it because he is a fox? Maybe only foxes can hear the stars singing. He sighs, or what can a fox similarly do like sighs. He doesn't feel sorry to be a fox.

His feeling of content doesn't last for long, because his stomach is grumbling. He lets his instinct takes him again, ears standing tall, nose actively searching for any smells that could be means as food. And it is so plenty.

As he briskly walks, he could feel his claws growing out, and he runs, he jumped, but the rabbit that heard his noisy steps jumping away. Left him to bite the grass. It's not easy as he thought. But he doesn't let that failures dwelled too long, unlike his human-self who likes to overthinking the actions he'd done. His fox instinct forces him to search for other prey. And he founds it, fresh smell of rodents. Only few hundreds meters away from him. So he launched himself so quick, that the rodent almost had no time to feel his presence and bite it's neck. When it tries to release from his grip, he snapped it with a quick turns, and it becomes limp on his neck.

Not satisfies with one prey, he searches for another, and another, becomes better in each hunts. It had been so long, he thinks, as he lays comfortably in a small hole of a tree, since the last time he eats until he feel fully sated. He fall asleep with ease, fox mind doesn't worry about potentially getting snapped by a boss or backstabbed by collagues. And there's no bill he has to pay, either. Since a longest time, finally he feels free.

Being a fox he is, he no longer have any grip of time. Minhyun doesn't bother to count the day passed since his shape shifting. He was just a young fox back then, but he feels his body becomes bigger as his fangs becomes longer. The more time passed more courage gathers on him. He ventures lengthier distance, wander the other parts of the forest, roaming more parts of the river.

For the longest time, he'd been avoiding the edge of the forest where humans likes to wander. He despises them, he hates the time he spent as a human. But this morning when he wakes up, he feels something different. Adnaline rushes in his vein, his heart rattles so fast with anticipation. So he decides he will take the risk this time.

Minhyun never remember the life he had when he was a human. His life as a fox is simple: after he wakes up he searches for food and after he feels full, he goes back to his tree to sleep. He keeps distance for another animals, and another foxes. But after he is seeing the roads, the memories of his past seeping in, eventhough it still feels far away, like a distant dream.

Suddenly a smell hit him. The sweet smell of a baked chocolate cake, comes out from a small house near the road. It was exactly the smell of the chocolate cake his mother used to bake. He remembers the soft smile his mother throws to his little self who is impatiently demanding it to be done quickly.

His heart, suddenly feels heavy. How is his mother condition now? On the hasty feeling of wanting to escaped from his sadness he forgot her mother completely. Does he still feels the pain in his back? The weather had been so cold lately. She must have struggled a lot. What is in her mind, how had she felt when he suddenly leave without telling anything to him?

Unlike days before, Minhyun can't sleep well that night. And after mulling with his thought he decides to go back to the town he hates, he should make sure she is alright.

The trip back isn't easy as Minhyun didn't pay attention to where he was heading to. And his human memory is like a fog, he can't remembers where is his mother's house and is his mother still live where she used to live? Does she still live?

Being lost in the city is not a big problem for his fox self. There are so many foods for him here: the rodents. Those animals are plenty, even more than in forest. He could sneak out everywhere, in the park or empty buildings. His problem is humans, he still feels the dislike seeing those two legged creatures everywhere.

Suddenly a whiff of a really nice smell intrudes Minhyun from his thought.  
"Fox? It's a fox!" he hears a voice of an excited boys calling.

Startled, Minhyun quickly hides his body behind the bushes and observe the boy carefully. The boy curiosly searching with his eyes curiosly for a beautiful orange fox he'd seen here and there. The cold weather makes his pointed ears and chubby cheeks red.

"A fox? You saw a fox here, Jaehwan-ah?" A tall man approaches him and begin looking around curiously too.

"Father!" The boy jump because he is startled by his father's presence. "Ah, no! It must be only my imagination." The boy smiles sheepishly.  
"Your grandmother is waiting, let's go Jaehwan-ah." the man strokes his son's head lovingly, and both of them left the park. Though the boy still looking back curiosly.

The snows is dissapating and the weather becomes warmer. But Minhyun still hasn't found any success in finding his mother. He was busy catching rodents when he heard footsteps approaching him.

"Fox!" The excited boys screams.

He forces Minhyun to go back into his hiding place. Eyeing the boy's movement viciosly. This time the boy is wearing a lighter jacket. He wipes his chubby cheeks with his hand that was holding a soccer ball and smeared it with dirt. The smile in the boy's face fell when he saw Minhyun run to the bushes.

"Fox! I know you're here!" said the boy while he is approaching the bushes where Minhyun hides.  
Minhyun let out a loud hiss, making the boys startled. Tears is forming in his eyes, almost makes him feel bad. But he still hates human, eventhough the boy has a really nice smell that makes him wants to go near him.

"Fox! I promise I won't hurt you!" but Minhyun still hissing, more vicious. The boy dejectedly leave the park, but still occasionally throws his gaze back, looking at the orange fox behind the bushes.

After that, the boy comes to his bushes-- Now Minhyun calls it as his bushes, because no matter how far he ventured out, he will still back to that spot. The boy calls him from time to time, but he makes sure to keep his distance from the bush. His face will lit up with smile everytime he sees a flash of orange fur. One day, the boy said "Fox, I will come again."

Minhyun never counts the time, but the seasons changes without the boy visoting the park again. If he is being honest, everynight he wishes that he can see the chubby boy again. And who knows, maybe this time he'll try to be more civil and let the boy approaches him closer.

On an unexpected sunny day, that wiff of smell comes again, along with delicious smell that makes his mouth water. The boy come and he brings a huge plastic bag where the tantalizing smell comes from.

"Fox?" he said "I know you're here!". He looks skinnier and taller than Minhyun had seen him before. His fat cheeks are still there, but it becomes smaller as his jaw becomes more prominent. The boy had grown up. Though, the tip of his ears and his cheeks still tinted with red colors, like he always is and the smile in his face doesn't change, still as wide as before.

"So my friend Daniel scolded me so hard! He said I use the wrong way to approach! The fastest way to reach the heart is through the stomach!"said the excited boy while taking out foods from his plastic bags to a paper plate: roasted chicken, breads, donuts, biscuits, and half eaten pizza. "I don't know what foxes like, so I brought all! Grandma will smack me, but whatever!" he grins and sit near the foods.

Minhyun wants to scoff if a fox can scoff--apparently, it's more a human thing -- because of the ridiculous words of that Daniel boy. If he meet that boy he'll claw his face for making ridiculous notion about foxes. Still, Minhyun approaches the chubby cheeks boy, although he is being torn by his instinct to flee from that place and his wants from his human part to get closer to the boy at war.

He slowly approaches the food and munching the chicken slowly. The boy's smile becomes wider than before, his eyes forming a crescent. "Daniel can be right with something too! I will treat him something later, then!" the boy claps and bouncing in his seat. Minhyun rotates his eyeball and continue devouring the rest of the foods. Now the boy is excitedly blabbering about soccer practice, apparently he is quite skilled on that sport.  
"My coach said that I should try to be a professional player. But I said I will think about it... I'm still doubting, I don't know... Grandma said that he likes my voice so much!" suddenly the boy start to sing. The half eaten pizza dropped from his mouth and looks up at the boy, like he had been never observing him before. The boy's voice was so beautiful, melodious, he wants to hear his voice forever. "You like it?" To Minhun dismay the boy stopped singing and grins shyly.

The boy's eyes are observing him attentively, "Can I touch your fur?" Minhyun doesn't give any sign to indicate his agreements, but he hold back his urge to claw the boy's hand that is patting his head softly.

"You're so beautiful" said the boy. Minhyun bites the boy's hand lightly, and the boy let out a very loud laugh.

" Ahahahaha... So you don't want to be called beautiful? Okay okay, I get it."

The boy needs two full minutes to stop laughing and he wipes his eyes when he finally stops. "I'm sorry for calling you beautiful. Quite a bite you got me there." he says.

So Minhyun licks his hand that he bitten. "I was just joking, it's not that painful," say him. But Minhyun continue to licks the boy hands, he wants to say he is sorry for being sensitive. His human part was snapped hearing that words. The boy smiles and stroke Minhyun's head while humming softly.  
\---

It was winter season, when the boy comes with a distracted face, his eyes were red and puffy. And although the snows falling, he only wore a very thin coat, making his body shaking so badly. The boy had becomes even taller but still skinny. The smell of him had changed, but still pleasant like his old self.

"Fox." The boy said when he sees Minhyun approaches him.  
Minhyun licks his hand as the boy comes closer.

"My Grandma passed away." he says while hugging Minhyun's body. The urge to bite his neck is even bigger, but Minhyun suppress it with great efforts as the boy continues to sob.

His animal minds doesn't understand the sadness. Everyday he hunts, kill and eat his prey, he witness other killing happening on that park. Maybe he will feel something if it was his mother, he doesn't know. For he never found her even after extensive searching. But for his fox minds now death is natural, the life comes and goes. But he hated seeing the boy's face like now. He wants to say please please please stop crying. He wants to say that he will be there for the boy as long as the boy asks him, but just please stop being sad. But he is a fox, he can't do all that. So he does the only thing he can: he licks the boy's face, wipes his tears by licking it. The boy laugh softly, his eyes are still sad, but he is smiling.

"Thank you, fox." He says, and hugs Minhyun tightly, before he releases him, pats his head, and leave the park quitely.

\---

The days and nights feels like it passing longer. Minhyun no longer feels the same vigorous spirit he felt when he was first shifting into a fox. He didn't hunt and explore as actively, only eat with amounts good enough to let him pass another day. And it had been so long since he finally gave up finding his mother.

The boy hadn't come to the park at all after that snowy day. It would be a lie if he said that he never wait for him, but is it the only reason he lost his spirit, he doesn't know. He feels stretched and sad for unknown reason.

It was another windy day, the brown, red, and yellow leaves falling to the ground. Minhyun sees him from far, long before he can catch a wiff of that boy smell. For Minhyun had been sitting on the front of the park's gate. The park that had been ruined and being abandoned. He is always sitting there when he doesn't have to hunt for food.

The boy, no, Minhyun thinks. He is no longer a boy. He had fully grown up into a beautiful adult. His body looks sturdy, his cheeks are almost gone, sunken, but light is still dancing in his eyes. The tip of his pointed ears and his cheeks that half hidden by his long scarf are red like usual.

The man let out a little laugh when he sees Minhyun's fox body in front of the gate. Minhyun can smell the man's scent now and he's blown by it. Musky scent with some hint of spice he can no longer named.

The man squatting down and settle himself in front of him.

"Are you waiting for me?" he says. He is smiling, but sounds very sad.

"I'm sorry. It's so painful for me to come here again. My family said I'm crazy to go here." he says while stroking Minhyun's head.

Minhyun leans his head to the man's touch. It's okay, he thinks. As long as you here. Minhyun wants to say that to the man.

The man then takes out foods from his big backpack, "You must be so hungry, right? Look at your fur aren't as shiny as before." says the man sadly. Minhyun bites his finger again.

"You're still as beautiful though!" he finally doesn't sounds sad, Minhyun cheers in his head, as he let out his characteristic boisterous laugh.

The man then excitedly tells him about what he had been up to until now while observing Minhyun eats. He tells him that he finally decided to pursue a singing career, because like his Grandma says, his voice touched her heart and he wants it to reached even more people.

"But I had terminate my contract with my old agency." he says.

"But don't worry! I will not given up! I will still continue singing. In fact, I'm invited to a singing variety show. How good is that?" The man's face is beaming with excitement.

Minhyun observing him with a bit envy. How can he always views his life so positively? It was so different with human-Minhyun.

A cold wind blows again, the man sneezing repeatedly and pulls his coat closer to his body. Minhyun comes closer to the boy, jumps to his lap to makes the man at least a bit warmer. He feels the man laugh as his chest shaking because of the laugh."Are you worried about me?"

They sit like that in silent as the man no longer talking, only observing the surrounding and humming silently. Minhyun feels comfortable and for a longest time, he feels it: happiness.He doesn't want to be apart from that man anymore. He wants to be always near him.

It finally comes down to him with dread. He loves the man. Minhyun thinks hard; how can it be? Since when had he been feeling it? But the questions come with no answers. Long ago, he felt it for a longest time.

The man realize something is wrong, "Fox? Why are you staying silent?" asks him.

"It's late. I must go back." he says as he stands.

Minhyun feels his body goes cold. When can he meets him again? He can't stand the thinking of parting with the man for so long again.

"I will be back tomorrow. I'll take you with me, how about that? I can't stand leaving you alone here." says the man while patting his head.

It must be very ridiculous for a fox to have a feeling to a human. What would the man's think if he knows it? He doesn't only wanted to be near, he wants to hold him close. To be someone the man hold dearly. To be someone the man shares everything with. Minhyun wants to be a human again.

That night the sleep can't come to him. He's thinking it over and over. Trying to remember what it was said. Human-Minhyun is a meticulous person; he must had make sure to know how to revert back to human form and he must jotted down the instructions somewhere.

So even if he feels that it was ridiculous, for how long had he left his old house, and he can't be sure that his note is still there, Minhyun runs back, only relies on his fogging memory.

Seemingly impossible, he find his old house. But of course, all of his things weren't there anymore  
and it had been left abandoned. No one seems to have entered his room for a long time.

Having exhausted by a long distance of his journey, he lays his body on the floor. Thinking about the man he maybe will never meet again, wondering what would the man think when he can't find the fox in that old park. Minhyun feels forlorn, all of his energy had been burned out. So he lets himself to finally cry.

And it suddenly comes to him how to back into human: by crying. Because fox can't feel any sadness. Fox can't have any feelings. Fox can't cry. Minhyun feels his body stretched, the fur in his body is diminishing as he goes back into human. And he finally remembers the last part of his notes: when he goes back into human all of his memory as a fox will be gone. He will not remember anything. He will not remember the man he loves.  
\-------

Minhyun opens his eyes with dizzy feeling in his head. The sunlight that was shining directly to his eyes must be the reason he is waking up. He is confused, why had he been lying on the floor? As he stands, he feels that he forget something important. Something keep nudging the back of his head. But he quickly shrugs off the feeling. He doesn't have time to think about unimportant matters. He never late goes to work and he won't make this day to be the first.


	2. A Boy and A Fox revised version.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry to disappoint, but it's not a new chapter. I made some changes: fix the grammar, add details here and there, change some scene, and add more things at the end, so it won't feel too open-ended. And without I realize, this becomes too long. I hope you'll still like it.

Minhyun had enough of his life. It meant nothing more to him, his life what he used to be. The overpressure of his career, appointed as the youngest team manager in his office, where he should keep constantly wears a mask that getting heavier by the day. 

The bills are increasingly peaking. For what purpose did he buy those things? Maintaining the image of a perfect sculptured person? Those only made him even more disconnected than ever to the people around him.

The hole, the loneliness is so big. He tried desperately to bury the hole by anchoring himself to his lover. Still, he wakes up in the middle of the night, burdened by sadness he never knows where it comes from. Wanting to scream and cry. But never, ever, he dares to tell it to his lover. 

Did he know? Did he love me? Will he leave me? It was always buzzing in Minhyun's mind. But he didn't have to question it anymore. Their perfect relationship is a mirage. It's an illusion he builds for the sake of himself. 

Minhyun heard the beeping sound of his phone. He looks at it with almost no interest. It says, August 9, 2009, Happy Birthday! Congrats to me for making it this far, he thinks dimly. But it’s enough. As he observes his room, the tidy bed with no folds, books that arranged by the alphabets, nothing is out of place, he thinks: this day he decides to leave all of it.

It was strange, of how many info you could found on the internet. Most of the information is only lies and tales. The site seems like a bogus. Overexaggerated stories and legends. The pictures look so fake and badly edited. But there, he found that note: written with very small fonts, most of the visitors will easily ignore it. But not Minhyun. If it fails, he will at least had a good laugh.

Not long after he follows all of the instructions meticulously-- he was famous among his colleagues as someone who is a perfectionist. They said that he’s someone who is very petty to find any small mistakes. He knows, of course. He heard their hushed talking when they thought he wasn't there. He knows every little detail of the curse they threw at him. And he thought words will never make him bleed. But it did. When a though rock can be broken by drops of waters, then what would be his heart? And it bleeds even harder when  _his_  voice answered. The man he thought loved him, mocking him behind his back, and the sounds of two breathless moans following after... He should have known, shouldn’t he?

Minhyun feels his bones, his skin, his organs are sunken, compacted. He feels as if he is being compressed by a large boulder. He sees the hair in his body grows more, becomes longer, colored in red-orange. He could feel his ear becomes longer and a tail grows from his behind. He doesn't know how long the process went. When he opens his eyes, his gaze was covered by his old clothes, too big for him to wear. Slowly, still feeling the pain, he comes out underneath his clothes. Various sounds and smells overwhelmed his sense.

After getting used to all the stimulation, he let his animal instinct, he runs from his room without knowing or paying any attention of where he runs to. Just run and run, passing his overbearing landlady who screamed like she is witnessing a murder when all she sees is just a young red fox.

Minhyun could faintly hear her voice “Pest! That Hwang must be bringing it to murder me!”

He feels relief coursing his body. Finally, he could leave that toxic place he used to call a house. He feels his body becomes lighter as if all his burden had been lifted. He then continues to run, passing the dark street of dawn, when he could hear faint voices of people starting a new day; some of them are even already bustling about on the street, but no one pays any attention to a fox who is running so fast and not wanting to be discovered.

He doesn't know how long or how far he runs, he runs until he feels like he can't take another breath again. If there’s a thing he is proud of, it is his body strength. He is far from weak. He spent many of his time working out, as he never wanted himself to become less than flawless.

As Minhyun lays his fox body on the wet grass, he thinks: Why? Why had he been trying so hard? Putting himself to the limit? Stressing, stifling himself and people around him. The face he used to love the most, the face that is adorned with the constellation of stars was full of smiles when they were first met. He never realized that the smile had changed into frowns and disgust as their quarrels become more often.

In his fox minds, all of the things from his old life slowly become hazy, just like a distant dream. He can’t remember people’s faces, not even him. But for a fox all of those things aren’t important, right? What he should do now is to catch a breath.

Laying quietly, after his heartbeat becomes even. He hears voices from around him, a song, seemingly from a distant place. He straightens up his body, lifts up his long ears. Even with his fox hearing, he could not pinpoint where the song comes from. As he throws his gaze around and finally looks up above him, he sees uncountable stars forming like a river, twinkling. Then it downs to him, it must be them, which is singing.

When he was a man he never bothers to spend his time observing the stars. He can’t even see them. Or is it because he is a fox? Maybe only foxes can hear the stars singing. He sighs, or, in fox sounds, yelps. He could hear the singing stars forever. He doesn't feel sorry to be a fox.

His feeling of content doesn't last for long, because his stomach is grumbling. He lets his instinct takes him again, ears standing tall and nose actively searching for any smells that could mean as food. He smiles, it is so plentiful.

As he briskly walks, he could feel his claws growing out, and he runs. He jumps to a rabbit that he had been eyeing from far. But the rabbit had heard his noisy steps and jumps away, left him to bite the grass where the rabbit had been standing just one second ago. It's not as easy as he thought. But he doesn't let that failure dwelled too long, unlike his human-self who likes to overthinks the actions he'd do. Don’t think, he says to himself. Let the instinct guides you. And it forces him to search for other prey. And he founds it, fresh smell of rodents. Only a few hundred meters away from him. So he launched himself so quick, so silent, that the rodent almost had no time to feel his presence and bite its neck. When it tries to release from his grip, he snapped it with a quick turn of his head, and it limps instantly. Not satisfies with one prey, he searches for another and another and becomes better in each hunt.

It had been so long, he thinks --as he lays comfortably in a small hole beneath a tree-- since the last time he eats until he feels fully sated. He doesn’t need to restrict what he eats, or counting the calories. He falls asleep with ease, fox mind doesn't worry about potentially getting snapped by a boss or backstabbed by colleagues. There's no bill he has to pay, either. For the longest time, finally, he feels free.

Being a fox he is, he no longer has any grip of time. Minhyun doesn't bother to count the day passed since his shapeshifting. He was a young fox back then, but he feels his body becomes bigger as his fangs and tails become longer. The more time passed the more courage gathers on him. He ventures a lengthier distance, wanders the other parts of the forest, roaming more parts of the river.

For the longest time, he'd been avoiding the edge of the forest where humans like to wander. He despises them, he hates the time he spent as a human. But this morning when he wakes up, he feels something different. Adrenaline rushes in his vein, his heart rattles so fast with anticipation. So he decides that he will take the risk this time.

Minhyun never remembers the life he had when he was a human. His life as a fox is simple: after he wakes up he searches for food and after he feels full, he goes back to his tree to sleep. He keeps a distance from other animals, especially other foxes. But after he is seeing the roads, the memories of his past seeping in uncontrolled, even though it still feels far away and hazy.

Suddenly a smell hit him. The sweet smell of a baked chocolate cake, comes out from a small house near the road. It was exactly the smell of the chocolate cake his mother used to bake. He remembers the soft smile his mother throws to his little self who is impatiently demanding it to be done quickly.

His heart suddenly feels heavy. How is his mother condition now? On the hasty feeling of wanting to escape from his sadness, he forgot her mother completely. Does she still feel the pain in his back? The weather had been so cold lately. She must have struggled a lot. What is in her mind and how had she felt when he suddenly left without telling anything to her?

Unlike days before, Minhyun can't sleep well after he hunts. And after mulling and mulling in his thought he decides to go back to the town he hates. He should at least make sure she is alright.

The trip back isn't easy as Minhyun didn't pay attention to where he was heading to after his shapeshifting. As a fox, he can't access his human memory easily. Everything is like a fog; he can't remember where is his mother's house. And he doesn't know how long the time had passed, so is his mother still live where she used to live? And Minhyun trying hard not to think, is she still alive?

Being lost in the city is not a big problem for his fox self. There are so many foods for him here: the rodents. Those animals are plenty, even more than in the forest. And even if he can't find any rodents a fox can eat almost anything. As for a place to sleep, he could easily sneak out everywhere, in the park or empty buildings. His problem is humans; he feels the dislike of seeing those two-legged creatures everywhere.

\---- 

Days had passed without Minhyun finding success. Even when he concentrates so hard to access his human memory, the streets leads to his mother house is hazy in his fox minds. And to his dismay, he can’t even remember how his mother’s house looks like.

But searching is searching, and his fox stomach still needs to be filled. Today is the coldest day since he becomes a fox. Preys aren’t as easy to find and it pains Minhyun to touch the human’s food waste. While he is eyeing a mouse, suddenly a whiff of a nice smell intrudes Minhyun sense and distracts him from his hunts. The scent of sweet chocolate mixed with a little bit of vanilla.

Minhyun searches around him, whips his head, looking when suddenly he hears a high-pitched boy’s voice, "Fox? It's a fox! Woah Woah Woah, a real fox!" The voice is so excited and full of glee.

The creature in front of him is really beautiful. Its red-orange fur is contrasting the white snows and its luminous long tail shines under the winter sun.

Startled, Minhyun quickly hides his body behind the bushes and observes the boy carefully. The boy looks not more than eleven years old. But it may be because of his chubby cheeks, that he seems so young. Some snows are landed on his head. His cheeks and the tip of his pointed ears that are half hidden under a colorful scarf are reddened because of the cold.

"A fox? You saw a fox here, Jaehwan-ah? In here?" A tall skinny man with greying hair approaches the boy and begins looking around curiously too. In his hand, he is holding an obnoxious red beanie.

"Father!" The boy jumps because he is startled by his father's presence.

"Ah, no! It must be only my imagination." The boy smiles sheepishly. If he let the presence of that fox known, it will make the fox more scared than it already is.

"You are forgetting your beanie again, Jaehwan-ah. You will catch a cold this way. Let’s go, Grandma must have been waiting for you." The man strokes his son's head lovingly, and both of them left the park. But when he is sure his father isn’t looking at him, the boy stealing glances once in a while to the back.

Minhyun feels relieved, but also at the same time, he also feels sadness watching the two humans walking away. His human memory chooses that time to flood his fox mind. His mother always nags him to wear warmer clothes. But since when, had he feels that his mother concern became a nuisance? He called his mother less often and refused to answer when she is calling.

Despite his thick fur, Minhyun’s body feels cold. The cold that has nothing to do with the pouring snows.

\---- 

The snow is dissipating and the weather becomes warmer. Grass and flowers come up beneath the white snow. But still, Minhyun hadn’t found any luck or progress. His human memory had once again, shutting itself from him.

It was when he is rummaging the garbage basket –Minhyun decided to throw away his pride and eat anything he could find-- when he senses that smell. That, and the loud footsteps following after.

"Fox! Fox! Fox!" The boy excitedly screams.

Annoyedly Minhyun runs to his hiding place. He is eyeing the boy's movement viciously. This time the boy only wears a light jacket and holding a soccer ball with his left hand. He wipes his chubby cheeks with his hand and smeared it with dirt. The smile on the boy's face fell when he saw Minhyun ran to the bushes.

"Fox! I know you're here!" Says the boy while he approaches the bushes where Minhyun hides and part the leaves.

Minhyun lets out a loud hiss and jumps to the boy; His claw scratches the boy’s cheek and red blood drips into the still white grounds.

The boy is startled. Tears are forming in his eyes, almost makes Minhyun feels bad. But Minhyun still hates human, and his instinct can’t let any human approaches him too close. Even when the boy has a really nice smell like a home that makes him wants to go near him.

"Fox! I promise I won't hurt you!" The boy says sadly. But Minhyun lets out louder and more vicious hiss.

The boy dejectedly leaves the park, but still occasionally throws his gaze back, looking at the orange fox behind the bushes.

“I won’t give up, you know! I'll see you later!” The boy screams, deafening Minhyun’s fox hearing sense.

\----

After that, as the boy had promised, he comes repeatedly to Minhyun’s bushes-- Now Minhyun calls it as his bushes because no matter how far he ventured out, he will still back to that spot. And it’s not because a certain boy had promised to come back, Minhyun begrudgingly thinks-- The boy calls him every time he showed up, but he makes sure to keep his distance from the bush. His face will light up with a smile every time he sees a flash of red-orange fur.

"Fox, I can't visit you for a while, don’t miss me, okay! See you later!" He says one day with a big grin. 

\----

The seasons' changes without the boy’s visit. If he is being honest, every night he wishes that he can see the chubby cheeks boy again. And who knows, maybe this time he'll try to be more civil and lets the boy approaches him closer.

On a very hot sunny day, the sweet smell comes again, along with a delicious smell that makes Minhyun’s mouth water. The boy comes and he brings a huge plastic bag with him where the tantalizing smell comes from.

"Fox?" He says "I know you're here~~ I come again. I fulfill my promise, right?"

He looks skinnier and taller than Minhyun had seen him before. His fat cheeks are still there, but it becomes smaller as his jaw becomes more prominent. The boy had grown up. Though, the tip of his ears and his cheeks still tinted with red colors, like he always is. And the smile in his face doesn't change, still as wide and open as before.

"So my friend Daniel scolded me so hard! He said I use the wrong way to approach! The fastest way to reach the heart is through the stomach!" Says the excited boy while taking out foods from his plastic bags to a paper plate: roasted chicken, breads, donuts, biscuits, half-eaten pizza, grapes, oranges, and many others.

"I don't know what foxes like, so I brought all! Grandma will smack me if she finds out." He grins and sits near the foods.

Minhyun wants to scoff --if a fox can scoff. Apparently, it's more a human thing-- because of the ridiculous words of that Daniel boy. If he meets that boy he'll claw his face for making ridiculous notion about foxes. Still, Minhyun approaches the chubby cheeks boy, although his instinct to flee from that place is fighting hard with his wants to get closer to the boy.

He slowly approaches the food and munching the chicken slowly. The boy's smile becomes wider than before, that his eyes forming a crescent.

"Daniel can be right with something too! I will treat him something later, then!" The boy claps and bouncing in his seat.

Minhyun rotates his eyeball and continues devouring the rest of the foods. Now the boy is excitedly blabbering about soccer practice, apparently, he is quite skilled on that sport.

"My coach said that I should try to be a professional player. I said I will think about it... I don’t know, fox... It just doesn’t feel right?” Says the boy while touching his philtrum.

“Anyway, I’m so happy! Grandma said that he likes my voice very much and I’m very talented with a guitar! I practiced so hard for her. Do you want to hear it? I don't bring my guitar though." Without waiting for Minhyun’s response suddenly the boy start to sing.

The half-eaten pizza is dropped from his mouth and he looks up at the boy like he had been never seen him before. The boy's voice was so beautiful, melodious, and brings him to tears; he wants to hear his voice forever, just like when he hears the stars sing.

"You like it?" The boy is smiling shyly. To Minhun dismay the boy had stopped singing.

Suddenly the boy's eyes look serious, contemplating, "Can I touch your fur?" He says finally.

Minhyun doesn't give any sign to indicate his agreements, but he holds back his urge to claw the boy's hand that is patting his head softly.

"You're so beautiful," Says the boy. Minhyun bites the boy's hand lightly, and he lets out a very loud laugh.

"Ahahahaha... So you don't want to be called beautiful? Okay okay, I get it."

The boy needs two full minutes to stop laughing and he wipes his eyes when he finally stops. "I'm sorry for calling you beautiful. Quite a bite you got me there." He says.

So Minhyun licks his hand that he was bitten. "I was just joking, it's not that painful," Says him.

 But Minhyun continues to licks the boy's hands, he wants to say he is sorry for being sensitive. He wants to say sorry for scratched the boy's cheek. The boy smiles and strokes Minhyun's head while humming softly.

\---

It was winter season when the boy comes with a distracted face. His eyes were red and puffy. His face contorts with anger and a deep grief. And although the snows are falling, he only wore a very thin coat as if he had been rushing to go there, making his body shaking so badly. The boy had becomes even taller but still skinny. The smell of him had changed, but still pleasant like his old self.

"Fox." The boy said when he sees Minhyun approaches him, startled. As if he had not expected to see the creature.

The anger in his face is slowly gone, only left him with a deep sadness. Minhyun licks the boy’s hand as he comes closer.

"My grandmother passed away. She... she... In this park..." He says and runs to hug Minhyun's body. The urge to bite his neck is bigger than ever, but Minhyun suppresses it with great efforts as the boy continues to sob, every second louder than before.

His fox mind doesn't understand the sadness. Every day he hunts, kill and eat his prey. He had seen death almost every day, it is normal for him. It is nature, the lives come and go. And don’t human’s do the same too? They even prey on each other, don’t they? Minhyun thinks. Just like what he had seen just a few days before. Maybe he will feel something if it was his mother, he doesn't know, for he never found her even after his extensive searching.

But he hates seeing the boy's face like now, tears hadn’t stopped falling from his usually twinkling eyes. Minhyun wants to say please please please stop crying. He wants to say that he will be by the boy’s side as long as the boy asks him, but just please stop being sad. But he is a fox, he can't do that. So he does the only thing he can: he licks the boy's face, wipes his tears by licking it. Finally, the boy stopped crying, he laughs softly, his eyes are still sad, but he is smiling.

"Thank you, fox." He says, and hugs Minhyun tightly, before he releases him, pats his head, and leaves the park quietly. The boy didn't say 'see you later' to him.

\----

The days and nights feel like it passing longer. Minhyun no longer feels the same vigorous spirit he felt when he was first shifting into a fox. He didn't hunt and explore as actively, only eat with amounts good enough to let him pass another day. And it had been so long since he finally gave up searching his mother.

The boy hadn't come to the park at all after that snowy day. It would be a lie if he says that he never wait for him, but is it the only reason he lost his spirit, he doesn't know. He feels stretched and sad. The loneliness is harder than he ever experienced.

It was another windy day; the brown, red, and yellow leaves falling to the ground when Minhyun sees him from far, long before he can catch a whiff of that smell. For Minhyun had been sitting on the front of the park's gate the entire time, only leaving his spot when he doesn’t have to search for food. The park was ruined and being abandoned after that snowy day. No one ever visits the park again. 

The boy, no, Minhyun thinks; he is no longer a boy. He had fully grown up into a beautiful adult. His body looks sturdy and tall enough, though not as tall as human-Minhyun, his cheeks are almost gone, sunken, his eyes are surrounded by black circles and his hair is dyed in purple-silver color. But just like before, light is twinkling in his eyes, the tip of his pointed ears and his cheeks that half hidden by his long scarf are red.

The man let out a little laugh when he sees Minhyun's fox body in front of the gate. Minhyun can smell the man's scent now and he's blown by it. A musky scent with some hint of spices he can no longer name.

After squatting down and settle himself in front of Minhyun he says, "Are you waiting for me?" He smiles, but Minhyun can hear the sadness in his voice as the man sees the fox’s fur that had been thinning out and lost its glow, “I’m sorry,”

"I'm really sorry." He continues "It's so painful for me to come here again. My family said that I'm crazy to go here." He says while stroking Minhyun's head.

Minhyun leans his head to the man's touch. It’s okay, he thinks, as long as you here now. Minhyun wants to say.

The man then takes out foods from his big backpack, "You must have been so hungry, right? Look at your fur; it’s not as shiny as before." Says the man, still sad. Minhyun bites his finger, this time a bit hard.

"You're still as beautiful though!" He finally doesn't sounds as sad, Minhyun cheers in his head, as he lets out his characteristic boisterous laugh.

Just like what he often does in the past, the man then excitedly tells him about what he had been up to until now while Minhyun eats beside him. The man tells him that he finally decided to pursue a singing career.

“Grandma said that my voice touched her heart. I think it will be good if it reached even more people, don’t you think?” The man’s gaze is wondering, "I've never shown you playing guitar, right? I promised I will, later."

"I’ve signed a contract with an agency, can you believe it? The practice is hard, they’ve been scolding me a lot." Minhyun sees a frustration flashed in his eyes.

“But it must be necessary so I can improve more.” He grins.

“They haven’t let me debut yet, but don’t worry, I’m not giving up! I will practice harder and show them that I could debut too!” The man's face is beaming with excitement.

Minhyun is observing him with envy. The man hadn’t changed, he always views his life so positively. It was so different with human-Minhyun.

A cold wind blows again, the man sneezing repeatedly and pulls his coat closer to his body. Minhyun comes closer to the man and then jumps to his lap to makes the man at least a bit warmer. He feels the man laugh as his chest shaking. "Are you worried about me?"

They sit like that in silent as the man no longer talking, only observing the surrounding and humming silently. Minhyun feels comfortable and for the longest time, he finally feels happy and content. He doesn't want to be apart from that man anymore. He wants to be always near him. Then the realization finally comes down to him with dread: He loves the man.

Minhyun thinks hard; how can it be? Since when had he been feeling it? How can he let this happened? Long long ago, he realized. He fell for the man without he can prevent.

The man didn’t realize something is wrong, "It's late. I must go back." He says as he stands, dusting his pants.

Minhyun feels his body goes cold. When can he meet him again? He can't stand the thinking of parting with the man for so long.

"I will be back tomorrow and this time, I'll take you with me, how about that?”

The man frowns “I live with my father and mother, but I’m sure we can have a little bit of space for you. I can't stand leaving you alone here." Says the man while stroking Minhyun’s head softly.

Even if he comes with the man, someday the man will find someone he loves and eventually leaves him again. How ridiculous it is, for a fox to have a feeling to a human. And Minhyun doesn't only want to be near; he wants to hold him close. To be someone the man hold dearly. To be someone the man shares everything with. Minhyun wants to be a human again.

That night he's thinking it over and over; trying to remember what the instruction on the internet said. Human-Minhyun is a meticulous person; he must have made sure to know how to revert back to human form and jotted down the instructions somewhere.

So even if he feels that it was ridiculous --for how long had he left his old house? He can't even be sure that his note is still in the place where he left it-- Minhyun runs back, only relies on his fogging memory.

All night long, he runs. And when the dawn comes, he finds the house even though it was seemingly impossible. But of course, the house isn’t what it used to be. There are only ruins left, as it seemingly had been through a fire. He could see the trace of walls is blackened.

Having exhausted by a long distance of his journey, he lays his body between the ruins. Thinking about the man he will never meet again, wishing that he could at least take one more glance at him, wondering if the man fulfills his promise and comes back. And what would the man think when he can’t find the fox? Will he search for him? Minhyun feels drained as if all of his energy had been sucked out. So he let himself to finally cry.

And it suddenly comes to him how to revert back into human form: by crying, because fox can't feel any sadness. Fox can't have any feelings. Fox can't cry.

Minhyun feels his body stretched, the fur in his body is diminishing as he goes back into a human. And he finally remembers the last part of his notes: when he goes back into human all of his memory as a fox will be gone. He will not remember anything. He will not remember the man he loves.

\----

The alarm on his phone is blazing so loudly when Minhyun opens his eyes. His head pounding painfully when he quickly gets up to turn off his alarm. He looks at the dates in his handphone so hard, -- August 9, 2009-- as if it will magically change if he stared at it so hard.

Why had he slept on the floor? He thinks. His head still feels dizzy, so he sits on his bed, trying to gain his balance back.

Why do I feel that something is missing? That I forgetting something important? Minhyun observing his room closely. His tidy bed barely has folds, books are arranged by the alphabets; nothing is missing, and nothing is out of place. Yes, his lover’s things aren’t there anymore. After their fighting, his lover took away all of his things and moves out.

Am I missing him? Minhyun frowns. No, he answers the question in his head. That doesn’t feel like it. The answers itself is weird because Minhyun had been always missing his lover when he can't see him.

His handphone’s alarm blazing on again, indicating that he should quickly prepare to go to work. Even though the feeling keeps nudging the back of his head, he quickly shrugs off it. It must be just a dream. He doesn't have time to think about unimportant matters like dream. He never late goes to work and he won't make this day to be the first.

As he passes on his table, he sees the notes that he made the night before and takes it. As he goes into the bathroom, he crumples the paper and throws it away in the bin. Minhyun laughs a little. What had he been thinking? He is a fool for reading and even takes a note from a bogus internet site like that.

\----

After that night, everybody had been saying that he is changed. Some people said that the change is bad, aka his boss. Because finally he let out the steam and protesting about the unfairness situation in his workplace and the insufferable amount of his workload. But Minhyun didn’t care and showed his middle finger to his boss when he walked out from his old office.

He finally settled out things with his lover and ended their toxic relationship. To his surprise, he doesn’t feel sad that it comes to an end. Maybe he had finally accepted that they’re not meant to be.

His family and old friends all happy with his change. They said it is as if his burdens had been lifted. He jokes more, laughs more, and spend more time meeting them. And he had been calling and visiting her more often.

Minhyun settles his backpack and fixes his scarf settling in his neck because the weather starts to get cold. Not all the things improving though. After he walked away from his old office, he and some of his old friends from university formed a company. It had settled and they began to have steady profit, but most of the time they still struggled.

And everyone around him had been teasing and asking, why doesn’t he has anyone special after the breakup? Why hadn't he settle himself in another relationship? It's not as if he still loved his ex. No, it's far from that. He just still can't shrug away the feeling that he had been missing something important.

As he passes the street of Hongdae he sees people crowding for a band that is busking in that street. He instantly being blown away by the vocalist's voice. It was beautiful, melodious and strong. He can hear this voice forever, he thinks.

Minhyun can't help to observe the vocalists attentively. The man's cheeks are a bit plump, his hair dyed in silver-purple color and he wears a leather jacket. When he is smiling shyly o the crowds, a dimple appears on his cheeks. As the song ended, Minhyun feels a tinge of sadness. But the vocalist's talks again, excitedly telling the crowds about his bands and introduce the members one by one.

Just when the man about to introduce himself, Minhyun's phone blazing off with an obnoxious loud girl group song.

"MINHYUN! WHERE ARE YOU?? EVERYBODY HAD GATHERED!" The ringtone could only mean his friend, Minki.

At that time the vocalist is looking at him. For a brief second, Minhyun's eyes meeting the brown orbs. He holds his breath. It is as if the time is stopped for a while.

"DON'T YOU DARE HANG UP ON ME!" Minhyun forgets that Minki is still on the line.

"IF YOU DARE TO NOT COME, I WILL GLADLY TELL ALL YOUR SECRETS!" What a demon excuse of a friend he has, Minhyun thinks.

"I'll come quickly!" Minhyun finally answers the call and cut their eye contact. As soon as the calls ended, to Minhyun dismay the vocalist is no longer looking at him again, busy tuning his guitar.

Minhyun quickly comes out of the crowds. He has to stop Minki from making any mess. But instantly feels regrets as he hears the vocalist strumming his guitar and begin to sing again.

After taking one last glance at the vocalist drinking at that sight, he walks away.

Later, he thinks... See you later...

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a fun fact: fox live for about 2-5 years in the wild. Their life is so short. 
> 
> What is your opinion? Is the previous better than this one? Please leave comments! I really appreciate it. Thank you for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are really appreciated. Thank you for reading!


End file.
